A Diary of a Nigerian Mad Woman
The early Lagos hustle sound hit my ears; foot sound of people rushing to get to their destinations forced my eyes open. It’s still dark and I couldn’t have my beauty sleep in peace, the annoyance almost made me aggressive to the passersby but going back to sleep was more important.
It’s absolutely impossible to go back to sleep by 3am in CMS, with conductors screaming their destinations everywhere; I knew that but I still tried my luck. When I couldn’t take the disturbance anymore I stood up and decided to start with my day. I will take that beauty sleep when the madness of the men have calmed down, usually between 11am to 3pm.
First I gathered my clothes, a very large beautiful nylon that I had saved from the back of an industry, they were going to shred the beauty, crazy people. I wrapped the nylon round my waist. There’s no need to cover my upper body, the men at the car wash love touching my breasts, I will save them the stress of tearing my clothes.
Next I folded my bed, I picked it from the front of a shop. Thinking about it I think I might have stolen it because the owner of the shop kept chasing me for it. The thought of that made me laugh so loudly and then I heard my stomach make some noise. I must be hungry I thought, time to scavenge. For a moment I was confused on where to eat. It was too early for the food sellers to come out and besides I do not want to have to beg them, so I decided to walk to the market dump. They have quite a lot there, a collection of so many nice things from different nice people for me, my mall. I wanted to check on Ola first but he would be sleeping by this time, the noise doesn’t disturb him.
The walk to the mall was long and lonely. The people I met on the way were all in a hurry, some were almost running, some shouting and cursing. Very weird and uncultured people. Then I saw a young boy that should be a teen. Very fine looking boy. I think he likes me, his eyes were fixed on me. Maybe he’s shy to approach me because he stood still looking scared and staring at my breasts. He must be dumbstruck at my beauty, maybe he thinks I will be offended. I should make the first move.
I smiled and went to give him a hug but he moved and seems to want to run. These people are really so weird and crazy. Maybe he wants to play. I love to play too. I don’t know what the game is called but I will learn and play it. Anything for my love.
I ran after him with my hands still spread for a hug. The game was exhausting but I didn’t mind playing until someone hit me and shooed me away. I lost my balance and lost track of my love, I wanted to fight the crazy man that hit me but his friends were gathered around chanting and laughing like mad men.
I decided to let the incident pass, I can’t stoop low to fight with Mad Men in public, not today.
It’s absolutely impossible to go back to sleep by 3am in CMS, with conductors screaming their destinations everywhere; I knew that but I still tried my luck. When I couldn’t take the disturbance anymore I stood up and decided to start with my day. I will take that beauty sleep when the madness of the men have calmed down, usually between 11am to 3pm.
First I gathered my clothes, a very large beautiful nylon that I had saved from the back of an industry, they were going to shred the beauty, crazy people. I wrapped the nylon round my waist. There’s no need to cover my upper body, the men at the car wash love touching my breasts, I will save them the stress of tearing my clothes.
Next I folded my bed, I picked it from the front of a shop. Thinking about it I think I might have stolen it because the owner of the shop kept chasing me for it. The thought of that made me laugh so loudly and then I heard my stomach make some noise. I must be hungry I thought, time to scavenge. For a moment I was confused on where to eat. It was too early for the food sellers to come out and besides I do not want to have to beg them, so I decided to walk to the market dump. They have quite a lot there, a collection of so many nice things from different nice people for me, my mall. I wanted to check on Ola first but he would be sleeping by this time, the noise doesn’t disturb him.
The walk to the mall was long and lonely. The people I met on the way were all in a hurry, some were almost running, some shouting and cursing. Very weird and uncultured people. Then I saw a young boy that should be a teen. Very fine looking boy. I think he likes me, his eyes were fixed on me. Maybe he’s shy to approach me because he stood still looking scared and staring at my breasts. He must be dumbstruck at my beauty, maybe he thinks I will be offended. I should make the first move.
I smiled and went to give him a hug but he moved and seems to want to run. These people are really so weird and crazy. Maybe he wants to play. I love to play too. I don’t know what the game is called but I will learn and play it. Anything for my love.
I ran after him with my hands still spread for a hug. The game was exhausting but I didn’t mind playing until someone hit me and shooed me away. I lost my balance and lost track of my love, I wanted to fight the crazy man that hit me but his friends were gathered around chanting and laughing like mad men.
I decided to let the incident pass, I can’t stoop low to fight with Mad Men in public, not today.
😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteCrazy people everywhere
Nice twist..