BitterSweet With Tochi

We have less than 48hrs to end this year.  The ending that will bring in  new beginnings and fresh starts. I don’t know about you but 2019 hit me real hard with heavy blows. The year came in like a pack of oranges. There’s the sweet and there’s the sour; but I can’t say that it was a bad year.  No matter what or who you lost, or what or who you didn’t gain or couldn’t do, there’s always something that should make you ‘but' whenever you remember how unfair the year was to you.  Something you learnt from someone, liberation from a toxic atmosphere, someone you met, a new mindset or motivation, better defined goal, a working diet plan, a book or film that inspired you, a friend or family that achieved something or that things turned around for, even that failure is a lesson, and maybe the break up is saving you from a relationship that you are not meant to be in.  Every year always brings us close to something relevant in our life. We just do not alway...

So you walked away from being put down, walked away from fights that would never be resolved, walked away from someone that would never see your worth.  You are hurt, miserable and beaten. You wonder if you should have held on and fought a little more, a little harder. Maybe if you put on a little more effort, things would have gotten better.  You wonder how you would make it through without them. What you feel at the moment is close to dying. You have this very large hole that nothing seems to fill. Not cheers from friends, not family, not food, not work, not vacation, not the funny instagram skits. Nothing works- you simply want them back. But deep down you know that you shouldn’t be going back to the way things were, and trying to change things in the relationship was liking trying to change the location of Mount Everest.  If you love someone and you break up, where does the love go?  Here are 10 ways to heal from a break up. 1. Grieve.  ...

Have you noticed that being left makes one love and lust the person who left them even more? It is a real thing, and it’s called frustration attraction.  Frustration attraction is what makes us pursue that person who doesn’t like us as much as we like them, harder. It makes you love the person harder. It is what makes rejection so alluring.   Our insecurities would make us turn our minds inside out wondering which of our flaws or faults might have put them off.  Our ego wouldn’t accept that someone isn’t returning our affection. It’s a psychological issue.  We would become irrational just to get this person’s attention or affection. We would make decisions that we would steer away from if we had a clear mind.  We might even go as far as altering ourselves – physically.  So it’s like this, as long as this person doesn’t want us, we would desperately try every trick and tactics just to win their affection.  We would become s...

When it comes to love, there are three kinds  of people: 1. The people that only give love 2. The people that only receive love 3. The people that give and also receive love 1. The people that only give love: They give love but do not require any love in return. They just want to love you. To show you love in different and any way without wanting your love. They don’t mind that you only want them when you need them and never the other way around. They are very selfless people and also absolutely do not exist. Even God requires that we love him back. That we show him love. How much more human beings? Anyone who thinks that they do not need to receive love back, is a confused being who would soon become overused, spent and thrown out, and miserable. 2. The people who only receive love: People who only receive love + people who only receive love = Double Negative. Imagine a relationship where nobody gives love? When I think of a place wi...