Ten ways to heal from a break up

So you walked away from being put down, walked away from fights that would never be resolved, walked away from someone that would never see your worth. 

You are hurt, miserable and beaten. You wonder if you should have held on and fought a little more, a little harder. Maybe if you put on a little more effort, things would have gotten better. 

You wonder how you would make it through without them. What you feel at the moment is close to dying. You have this very large hole that nothing seems to fill. Not cheers from friends, not family, not food, not work, not vacation, not the funny instagram skits. Nothing works- you simply want them back. But deep down you know that you shouldn’t be going back to the way things were, and trying to change things in the relationship was liking trying to change the location of Mount Everest. 

If you love someone and you break up, where does the love go? 

Here are 10 ways to heal from a break up.

1. Grieve. 

Wail all you want. Go out without makeup, don’t care about your clothes, skip your social activities, pounce on the cake and ice-cream. Listen to sad songs and cry. Watch sad love movies and cry some more. Read sad romance novels and cry louder. Weep under your desk. Don’t try to cover up the pain, deal with it. Let it all out. 

It’s OK, it’s OK to be in a pretty bad shape after a break. It’s OK to miss someone but still understand that you deserve better at the same time. 

Give yourself time. There will be a time when the tears will dry and you will pick yourself up, forgive, and move on. But till then, grieve! 

2. Express your feelings. 

Unexpressed feelings never die, they’re buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways. So call them, tell them how much you ‘hate’ them. Egg them. Shred all their pictures and pictures of you together. Spray their car if you have to-lol. Send hate mails, dispose off their gifts. Rebound. Employ the help of your friends. 

But be careful, you only want to get it out of your system and not sucked it into your system. 

3. No blame game. 

Don’t waste your time trying to figure out what went wrong in the relationship or who was wrong. Don’t give in into the temptation of sharing blame. It doesn’t matter who’s fault it was that the relationship didn’t last; not all relationships are meant to last forever. ‘It’s their fault that you always fought’, ‘it’s your fault that they weren’t happy’. It doesn’t matter, all that doesn’t matter anymore. 

Don’t beat yourself up for staying long in the relationship, the most important thing is that you got out. It doesn’t matter that you ignored the signs for so long. You finally did what was right for you. 

Don’t beat yourself up for walking out. You aren’t a coward, you realized that it wasn’t worth fighting for and did what was best for you. 

4. Let go of the anger and bitterness. 

Many exes live in a pattern of anger, bitterness, and self justification. Until you can let go of all resentment towards the other, you are still psychologically in a relationship with them. You are still holding on to the bad memories which will keep breaking you and making you sad. One simple way of being happy is letting go of things that make you sad. 

Stop hurting yourself still holding on to the broken glasses. Things without remedy should be without regards. 

5. Forgive. 

Forgiveness is not just what’s said. It’s easy to say that you have forgiven someone while still holding them responsible for your betrayal, sadness etc. When love cuts, it scars deep. So, it’s OK if the pain doesn’t vanish. The pain from love isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be forgotten; but you need to forgive for the sake of your emotional, mental, physical, and psychological health. 

Forgive them for breaking up; 

Forgive them for being toxic; 

Forgive them for not making effort to save the relationship; 

Forgive them for cheating on you; 

Forgive them for ignoring you; 

Forgive them for not loving you as much; 

Forgive them for breaking your heart; 

Forgive them for hurting you;

Forgive yourself for giving them the power to do the mentioned above, over and over again. 

6. No regrets. 

Never regret. If the relationship was good, it’s wonderful. If it was bad, it’s experience. 

“Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all”

7. Don’t run back. 

You feel lonely, you miss them, you think no-one else would ever love you, you think they were your everything, you hope they will change this time around. So, you decide to give them the millionth chance to hurt you. 

You have to come to terms with the reality- they’re not good for you! If they were, you wouldn’t have had to break up in the first place. 

Like someone said, dating again after you break up is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again except with less health. 

You deserve better than living a miserable life repeatedly. 

8. Keep busy. 

Hang out with friends, meet new people, visit family, take up extra work projects, work longer hours. Distract your thoughts. The best way to mend a broken heart is time and friends. 

Do something crazy. Try something new. Do that thing that you have been pushing aside. Take that vacation. 

Live, breathe, and love living. 

9. Don’t change. 

While you should strive to be a better version of yourself, don’t change who you are because someone else didn’t like you enough. Changing your appearance or habits won’t help if the person doesn’t love you enough; but finding another person does help. 

10. Love. 

Ever heard that love can heal a broken heart. Love may be the cause of your heartbreak but it will also be the very one to heal it up for you. Never give up on love. 

You may have had to give up on your relationship, but you can still find love again. Love can still find you again. 

Yes, you are scared but love is beautiful. There’s no worse way to live life than to live it while giving up on the prospect of love. 

You don’t have to jump into anything yet, just simply live and love living. Cupid has enough arrow to go round, but you must open your heart to be hit. ♥