The pain of loving someone unattainable
If being in love with someone you can’t be with isn’t the saddest torture, I wonder what is.
It’s a trend that started with our ancestors, when being betrothed was the only way of marriage. When you are given to someone to marry before you are even conceived; falling in love with someone else was not an option, but it was still an inevitable occurrence. The obedient ones obeyed their parents while the ones who dared to defile their parents were forced to honor the wishes of the parents. Either way, they didn’t have the freedom to choose who to love or be with.
Today the case is a little different, we are free to fall in love but we are not always free to be with the person. It could be because of some irreconcilable differences, distance, age, family disapproval, they're with someone else, gone from this earth or we’re in the love alone.
Last night, I heard one of the most heartbreaking stories, the type that’s usually seen in the movies. I ran into an old friend, while we were talking and catching up he broke down and said
Apparently, his ex girlfriend’s family insisted she married someone from their tribe. Now they are both married to other people but still in a relationship with each other.
The saddest thing about the situation wasn’t the story, it was the mixture of helplessness, undeniable true love, hurt and hope that hung around the story teller. For a second I didn’t know what to tell him, breaking communication with his ex was out of the question, he was not ready to let go. I wouldn’t have insisted he left his wife, God forbid I be the one to suggest a family break up.
What do you advice people who find themselves in such fix?
Can we manipulate how we feel? Are there things he could do to make him fall out of love with his ex and in love with his wife?
Does love have a switch?
What do you do when you can’t get them out of your head? Love is beautiful, love is sweet, love is also torture. Love is torture when we are in it alone, love is torture when we are not free to express it. When everything you’ve ever wanted is standing right in front of you but they aren’t yours to have, when you walk around with feelings you can’t express because the person you have them for is the someone that can’t receive them. When love is not enough to make something work. What do you do when it’s hard to admit that you have fallen in love with someone who can’t be yours?
Is love truly a helpless feeling?
Do we control love or does love control us? ♥
It’s a trend that started with our ancestors, when being betrothed was the only way of marriage. When you are given to someone to marry before you are even conceived; falling in love with someone else was not an option, but it was still an inevitable occurrence. The obedient ones obeyed their parents while the ones who dared to defile their parents were forced to honor the wishes of the parents. Either way, they didn’t have the freedom to choose who to love or be with.
Today the case is a little different, we are free to fall in love but we are not always free to be with the person. It could be because of some irreconcilable differences, distance, age, family disapproval, they're with someone else, gone from this earth or we’re in the love alone.
Last night, I heard one of the most heartbreaking stories, the type that’s usually seen in the movies. I ran into an old friend, while we were talking and catching up he broke down and said
“Tochi, I have to tell you something. I can’t take it again. I still talk to my ex every day. I tell her about how unhappy I am with my wife and she tells me about how unhappy her husband makes her. It kills me everyday to know that we could have been with each other, instead of our partners"
Apparently, his ex girlfriend’s family insisted she married someone from their tribe. Now they are both married to other people but still in a relationship with each other.
The saddest thing about the situation wasn’t the story, it was the mixture of helplessness, undeniable true love, hurt and hope that hung around the story teller. For a second I didn’t know what to tell him, breaking communication with his ex was out of the question, he was not ready to let go. I wouldn’t have insisted he left his wife, God forbid I be the one to suggest a family break up.
What do you advice people who find themselves in such fix?
Can we manipulate how we feel? Are there things he could do to make him fall out of love with his ex and in love with his wife?
Does love have a switch?
What do you do when you can’t get them out of your head? Love is beautiful, love is sweet, love is also torture. Love is torture when we are in it alone, love is torture when we are not free to express it. When everything you’ve ever wanted is standing right in front of you but they aren’t yours to have, when you walk around with feelings you can’t express because the person you have them for is the someone that can’t receive them. When love is not enough to make something work. What do you do when it’s hard to admit that you have fallen in love with someone who can’t be yours?
Is love truly a helpless feeling?
Do we control love or does love control us? ♥
I guess he's still looking for the quality of his ex in his partner..
ReplyDeleteHe should let go, and try a different experience with his wife..