We are what we value.

Cursing, being insensitive, being arrogant, lazy, unfaithful or a nuisance to the people around does not mean being yourself. No, that is being a shit. You are just a virus that people would want to protect themselves from.

being yourself is a self discovery and self creating journey. It is a process. You discover yourself everyday and each day you mold yourself into a better form. It is a growth, a progress. and we know growth and progress are impossible without change. 

The biggest change we can make at any point in our lives is taking responsibility for who or where we are. That means there is no one else to blame for the things that are not right. No more victim mindset. Things and people can control our environment but we can decide within us how it's all going to affect us, how we will react. We have to be able to admit that we are what we are today because of the choices we made yesterday.

We need to bear in mind that between stimulus and response we have the freedom to choose. No blaming of our character on our parents, gene, childhood experiences and upbringing, spouse, zodiac signs, economic situation or someone or something in our environment. As humans, our behavior is a function of our decision: not our condition. Otherwise would just make us pathetic zombies or robots. It would mean that we are just driven by feelings, conditions and circumstances. 

Habit is one of the powerful factors in our lives that make us who we are. They are consistent unconscious patterns that daily express our characters. To break deeply habitual tendencies such as selfishness, impatience, anger or procrastination that violate basic  human principles we need to be guided by values. 

I know that in reality it is very difficult to not be influenced by the physical, psychological and social environment, but when we have values, our response to these influence- whether conscious or unconscious would be value based.

What is value?

Value is our  judgement of what is important in life. Our principles or standards of behavior. 

I will share some of my personal values with you; 

• love
• happiness
• family
• appreciation
• kindness
• honesty
• compassion
• health
• loyalty 
• integrity 

You can borrow some or all of them if you do not have any. I do not mind sharing. 

Deep inside you, there are standards or principles that you hold dear. Those are what make the real you. You can lie to everyone and even to yourself but deep down you will always know who you are. 

Who you are is what will guide you on how to respond to your environment and the circumstances which you have no control over. 

As we continue on this self discovery and self creating journey, we must stop absolving ourselves of responsibilities. I know it is easier to say "I'm not responsible" because that would mean we are not 'irresponsible'. So we feel better spreading blames and feeling victimized. 

But how do you grow when you are not in charge of yourself? How do you progress when you do not have mastery over yourself...

Don't forget to subscribe, you don't want to miss all the updates on self creating and self discovering.