Timing in Relationships
Talk about the beauty and pain of falling in love with the right person at a very wrong time. Making acquaintance of a person who would be so incredibly perfect for you, except it’s just not a good time for you or them.
Once or twice we have been victims of timing. We meet the person of our dreams a few months before they relocate, we form an incredible close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken or is not emotionally ready to be with us, we end a relationship because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because a partner is getting too serious.
We would think, it would be perfect if only this were five years from now, seven months earlier, it would have been great if I had enough money, if I was over my ex or had all my shits together. Timing plays such a drastic role in our lives and we have to consider why.
The truth is that there may never be a perfect or magical time when everything falls into place. When our shits are all together, when we don’t have to worry about meeting the right person at the wrong time because maybe the people we meet at the wrong time are not the right ones for us. So the person we think is a perfect person at the wrong time might just be someone who is bad for us at a time.
At any point in our life, at our time, there will be people who represent what we need most. People that we see opportunities with rather than excuses. People who feel and look like the manifestation of what we want at the time. Yes, they exist! But how do we recognize them?
Communication and honesty. We have to be honest to ourselves and then to our partners. We do not rather speculate than communicate. We do not make assumptions about our partners. We communicate. We talk and most importantly, we listen. Listening involves patience, openness and the desire to understand.
We talk about our time or season in life. Getting clear on what we want. It doesn’t matter if we are rejected, judged or misunderstood. Having it in mind that the ‘perfect’ person at the wrong time is just someone who is wrong for us at a time. And there is nothing like a wrong person at a right time because every time will always be right but for the right relationship.
When we just get out of a serious relationship, we’re sore and might not be in a state to commit straight away. This time, meeting a person who seems perfect for us but has been single for a while and is looking for a serious partner would seem like wrong timing. Because we have to heal completely first before we can commit to another. Imagine we are open and honest about how we feel to that person that we admire, only to realise that he/she feels the same way too. Not necessarily fresh out of a relationship too or in an emotionally bad place, the person might just be on the same page with us on commitment and relationship expectation at the time. If otherwise, we have saved our partner years or months of hoping and regret.
We know, have heard or read about someone who is filled with regrets because the right time never came for him/her to declare their feelings. The sad thing about it is that they will always wonder- Yeah! What if you had stopped discouraging yourself, lying to yourself. You will always wonder and will not really be absolutely contented because you will always wonder if things would have turned out better. May we not be that person, NO! NEVER! But we have to be sure of what we feel and want from the other person. That’s why it’s necessary to be honest to ourselves first. We don’t want to pull someone’s child out of a would have been or a great relationship because of some flimsy feeling. When the feelings fade, we might be under pressure to make things right. Because when we are eager to make things right we become anxious. Anxious partners tend to give too much in a relationship to the point of losing themselves. We can easily only suppress our own need for so long before we crack.
So it's like this, the time is right but are we right for our partners? Are they right for us?
This week is all about timing in relationships. Stay on for more posts on the topic.
What do you think about timing in relationships, have you been a victim? How did you handle it? Drop your comment or you can send your story to bittersweetwithtochi@gmail.com I will post as much stories as possible.
Don’t forget to subscribe. ♥
Once or twice we have been victims of timing. We meet the person of our dreams a few months before they relocate, we form an incredible close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken or is not emotionally ready to be with us, we end a relationship because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because a partner is getting too serious.
We would think, it would be perfect if only this were five years from now, seven months earlier, it would have been great if I had enough money, if I was over my ex or had all my shits together. Timing plays such a drastic role in our lives and we have to consider why.
The truth is that there may never be a perfect or magical time when everything falls into place. When our shits are all together, when we don’t have to worry about meeting the right person at the wrong time because maybe the people we meet at the wrong time are not the right ones for us. So the person we think is a perfect person at the wrong time might just be someone who is bad for us at a time.
At any point in our life, at our time, there will be people who represent what we need most. People that we see opportunities with rather than excuses. People who feel and look like the manifestation of what we want at the time. Yes, they exist! But how do we recognize them?
Communication and honesty. We have to be honest to ourselves and then to our partners. We do not rather speculate than communicate. We do not make assumptions about our partners. We communicate. We talk and most importantly, we listen. Listening involves patience, openness and the desire to understand.
We talk about our time or season in life. Getting clear on what we want. It doesn’t matter if we are rejected, judged or misunderstood. Having it in mind that the ‘perfect’ person at the wrong time is just someone who is wrong for us at a time. And there is nothing like a wrong person at a right time because every time will always be right but for the right relationship.
When we just get out of a serious relationship, we’re sore and might not be in a state to commit straight away. This time, meeting a person who seems perfect for us but has been single for a while and is looking for a serious partner would seem like wrong timing. Because we have to heal completely first before we can commit to another. Imagine we are open and honest about how we feel to that person that we admire, only to realise that he/she feels the same way too. Not necessarily fresh out of a relationship too or in an emotionally bad place, the person might just be on the same page with us on commitment and relationship expectation at the time. If otherwise, we have saved our partner years or months of hoping and regret.
We know, have heard or read about someone who is filled with regrets because the right time never came for him/her to declare their feelings. The sad thing about it is that they will always wonder- Yeah! What if you had stopped discouraging yourself, lying to yourself. You will always wonder and will not really be absolutely contented because you will always wonder if things would have turned out better. May we not be that person, NO! NEVER! But we have to be sure of what we feel and want from the other person. That’s why it’s necessary to be honest to ourselves first. We don’t want to pull someone’s child out of a would have been or a great relationship because of some flimsy feeling. When the feelings fade, we might be under pressure to make things right. Because when we are eager to make things right we become anxious. Anxious partners tend to give too much in a relationship to the point of losing themselves. We can easily only suppress our own need for so long before we crack.
So it's like this, the time is right but are we right for our partners? Are they right for us?
This week is all about timing in relationships. Stay on for more posts on the topic.
What do you think about timing in relationships, have you been a victim? How did you handle it? Drop your comment or you can send your story to bittersweetwithtochi@gmail.com I will post as much stories as possible.
Don’t forget to subscribe. ♥
Nice post! Worth every second I spent reading!
ReplyDeletethank you for enjoying the read Tolu
DeleteTiming and attitude, interesting read.
ReplyDeleteyes Mr. kay
Delete